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<h1 style="text-align: center;">Suboptimal Preselection Still Helps</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/2207891732/vector/a-set-of-5-business-icons-as-decision-making-confusion-decision-option.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=vgcvVciMgQZ9gsu_xYp6HF-wMDGO11sX7wyycO4YEv4=" alt="" width="800" /> It's commonly known in circles of attraction that being seen as the object of affection of an attractive woman will make other women take notice and feel a certain amount of interest, intrigue, desire or attraction that they wouldn't otherwise. Preselection is the term. I won't focus on this type of optimal preselection. If you have hot women all around you, showing interest, then it definitely helps. But what about less angelic busts and faces? Or what if she is hot but simply a friend? You might think that being seen with a less attractive woman than you would like would hinder but as long as she's not too far below the level you want then I've actually found it doesn't. And if she's hot and only a friend, that too helps. Note: don't go dumpster diving and think that will help you. Going out with 4's will not help you get 8's. But if the woman's 1 or 2 points below it actually can. Basically, women need to know you're both safe and attractive. Put another way, they need to feel attracted to you but also feel safe around you. Preselection can play to one or both of those two factors. So keep these two factors in mind as you read ahead. Here are a few experiences that have shown to me that suboptimal preselection can help. <h2>Going Dancing With A Female Friend</h2> She's attractive enough and a cool girl so we hang out once in a while. Friends w/o benefits. We went latin dancing, understanding we'll dance a bit but also dance with others. I'm a bit on the shy side so being with someone fun helps bring out my more energetic side. We danced a few songs and had fun. It served to get me in a more outgoing and happy mood and the other women there saw me that way, instead of the shy guy just standing there and staring I might have been otherwise. So then I went and danced with some other girls and they were quite receptive. I ended up dancing with an attractive woman for quite a few songs (an 8 in looks). So who knows if this was preselection or not but looking at things more broadly, I was out having fun with a reasonably attractive woman. Being with any woman pretty much says you're safe. If she's reasonably attractive and showing interest in you or even just having fun with you it implies that you can get that level of woman (even if she's just your friend). When you <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/08/24/how-to-find-an-amazing-girl/">go out and meet lots of women</a>, the quality of your social proof increases exponentially. This is a key point. You may want to attract a certain level of women but only be able to get dates with women 2 points lower. Don't just sit around and wish for the sky. Date where you are. Don't make false promises or bullshit women but just go out and have a good time. For better or worse there are lots of women just looking to go out, either as friends or as dates or whatever so you don't need to feel like you're wasting her time. Simply state up front that you're just looking to go out and have fun, or whatever. And who knows? Maybe you'll actually fall in love with one of these women. <h2>Can Women Tell?</h2> I'm not really sure--this is pure speculation--but I often get the sense that many women, in spite of their claims to the contrary, can't judge women's beauty (as perceived by men) as well as men can--I often hear women say so and so is so beautiful and I'm like WTF?--and so being with a reasonably attractive female will have a halo effect on both the woman and the man. Both are seen as attractive enough to have someone with them, especially if they're having fun and the guy doesn't give off a total tool vibe...which is certainly perceived as more attractive than if the man is just alone and assumed to be some loser that can't get laid. Of course, if the woman is so obviously unattractive or below his league or something then that would stand out like a sore thumb. But I'm talking more about the 1 to 1.5 point differences that aren't so obvious, between the female companion and the level of girls he might like to get. An interesting side note is that you married and partnered men probably have more preselection right now than if you were suddenly single, unless your partner is way below what you could get on the open market again. Advertisement <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-California.html?gender=female">https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-California.html?gender=female</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Wisconsin.html?gender=female">https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Wisconsin.html?gender=female</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Massachusetts.html?gender=female">https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Massachusetts.html?gender=female</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Louisiana.html?gender=female">https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Louisiana.html?gender=female</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Arkansas.html?gender=female">https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-Arkansas.html?gender=female</a> <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-South-Carolina.html?gender=female">https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/state-of-South-Carolina.html?gender=female</a> <h2>Have Friends That Are Girls</h2> The debate over whether guys and girls can be friends tires me endlessly. Bottom line is, though, if you don't have a girlfriend right now then you should definitely <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/10/26/connecting-with-women-through-conversation/">get some girl friends</a> and go out with them, either one-on-one or in groups. I don't care if you want to bang your female friends. Exercise some self control and get a group of girl friends. As long as they're not bitches (and sometimes even if they are) they will help you meet women. Trust me. And this advice is for guys that don't have tons of girls crawling all over them. If you can get a girl with a lone wolf strategy (and it can be done; in fact that's how I mostly roll) or going out with the guys then more power to you. There's more than one way to skin a cat. Anyway, if you go out with women who are friends and know that's all it is then that can get you a bit of preselection and then you can talk to other women there. The best way to do it is to actually be friends with the girl(s) (and assuming she's not in love with you) so she'll actually want to help you meet someone. And you can help her with guy advice and stuff. The Hot Friend That Helped There was a hot girl at church (about 8.5-9) who I was friends with. She was a bit bitchy but very loyal and helpful too. She was also very picky so nothing ever happened between us romantically. However, another girl, about an 8 in looks, was wandering the halls obliviously (or intentionally obliviously) and I failed to catch her eye for about 3 or 4 weeks. Finally, one day I was able to talk with her and there was both some chemistry and yet some nervousness on her part. I said we should hang out after church and she kind of wanted to but was kind of unsure. So I said I'd see her after the meeting and we could decide then. Enter hot friend. She talked with the girl I wanted to go out with and told her about me and that I was a great guy and so on (I'll leave it to your imaginations about whether she was being honest or not). This eased the girl's nervousness and uncertainty and made her see me in an even more attractive light than the nascent beams in our first conversation. When I talked with her about an hour later she totally wanted to go out right then and there. Female friends can really help a new girl see you as both safe and attractive, which is why <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/28/10-best-places-to-meet-women-in-atlanta-georgia/">finding places to meet women</a> is enhanced when you have social support. <h2>More Attractive Girls Don't begrudge a 1 Point Difference</h2> I met a girl on a bus of all places and got her number. We texted a bit and she finally invited me to go along with some friends to a restaurant. She was about a 7.5-8 in looks. There, we flirted and held hands. Present was a more beautiful girl, an 8.5-9. Now, I noticed her and even talked with her a bit as part of the group but I liked the girl I was with. But that was the last time I ever saw said bus girl. However, we were friends on facebook and after things never worked out to meet up with girl #1 again, I added girl #2 (the hotter one) and there it stayed for a while, talking a bit and then not at all for quite a while until hot girl told me she was wanting to have a relationship with "someone." We ended up dating. Now, was it preselection? Who knows? But I don't think it hurt and I think there was definitely a bit of preselection going on. Gay Guys? This one is mostly humorous so no idea if there's anything to it but I met a girl on POF and we chatted a bunch first and got to know each other fairly well. Then we went out and throwing all PUA advice to the wind, I asked her to be my gf on the first date! lol And she said yes. Later I met her best friend, a gay guy who was really nice. It turns out this girl was getting tons of messages and didn't really check most of them. He thought I was attractive and fantasized a little about me, I guess, and was actually the one responding to the first 2 or 3 emails. But in spite of his lascivious intentions towards me, his loyalty to his friend won out and he told her about me and that she should talk to me and go out with me (though he still held hopes that maybe he'd find out he had a chance too! lol). So, having a gay guy think I was attractive actually got me a gf. Whether his positive thoughts about me directly made me seem more attractive to her, who knows, but I doubt it hurt. <h2>The Mother Hen</h2> JustFourGuys commenter, Marellus, left this comment: I say, Han, you should write a post about getting into women's panties, by charming the Mother Hens of a group. I once read it as an off-hand comment by Style in some archived forum. The theory works like this: If you see a group of girls -- make sure to get into the good graces of the Mother Hen, the mom-in-absentia, because, if the Mother Hen likes you, the other girls will also like you. I see this dynamic in play at the bar I frequent. There's this truly hot young bargirl that's got the regulars going gaga over her -- one enterprising fellow even 'stole' her phone to give himself a missed-call, then he went into the bathroom and filmed himself fapping over her, and sent the video to her phone. She made a ruckus, and the enterprising fellow got banned ... but strangely, she never deleted the video from her phone ... she loves to show it around ... why ? Anyway, this hot bargirl is not getting on well with her mother, so she got herself a surrogate in the cook. And the cook likes me -- every time she walks past me, she bends over, and asks that her arse be slapped by my hat ... I always oblige. One evening, as I was about to leave, I went up to the cook (she was sitting behind the bar counter talking to the hot bargirl and another woman) and said : "D it's time for me to leave ... assume the position ..." She gets off her chair and 'assumes the position' *Slap* "Ooh", she says, "I want another one !!!" *Slap* "Aaaah !!!" The woman sitting next to her, I give her a look and say : "Assume the position ..." She also gets off her chair and 'assumes the position' *Slap* "Haha !!!" The hot bargirl looks at all of this and says : "I'll get mine tomorrow ...." Her boyfriend was there -- he's quite in control of himself methinks. Tall. Quiet. Never makes a fuss. Not the jealous type, but he follows her around like a puppy dog, and takes orders from her -- she once jokingly told me, with him listening nearby, that he's afraid of her. Anyway, she said she'd take her 'shot' the following day ... heh. And as I left the bar, I could hear those three women start their high pitched yammering -that noisy mutual interruption where everything is yelped and howled in approval- over me ... ... all because the cook, the Mother Hen ... liked me ... Share Your Experiences of Suboptimal Preselection Whether it be a friend, a date, a mother hen, a gay guy or something else, share your experiences. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Tjx1OoiF9Ps?si=oCu-eBr1ZKhkvKhN" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>